A Coast to Coast Journey to Finding Inner Peace

Here is a little known fact: When he was teenager in Turkey, Byram Karasu received a package in the mail from Harley Davidson in the United States. His father had mail-ordered a bike for him. It was only when they opened up the boxes that they both realized they are dealing with a full size Hog. So between ages 16-26 young Byram Karasu rode a Harley and enjoyed every minute of it. Even though he may not agree with me, I would say it is possible that his interest in the study of God and godliness started in his young Harley days.

It is not often you come across a senior scientist, therapist, and thought leader in the research community, whose main interest is God. Dr. Byram Karasu is the chairman of the Behavioral Sciences Department at the Albert Einstein Institute in New York, and Chief Psychiatrist at the Montefiore Medical Center. His decades of research and interaction with people carrying different kinds of emotional and mental burden has led him to a simple conclusion: that it is only by striving to be godly and living a spiritual life that one can be truly happy. He established a new and fascinating branch of behavioral sciences research and practice called Spiritual Psychotherapy. He has also taken his new message beyond the psychology and psychiatry community to reach the general public with a series of best-selling books.

Modern science and medicine have already accepted the unity of mind and body. Primary physicians talk with their patients about emotional stress, and psychologists and coaches talk with their clients about nutrition and exercise. However, in the triad of mind-body-spirit, spirituality is yet to become a part of the science and practice of modern medicine. Dr.  Karasu’s work makes the leap into spirituality from a scientific perspective. His books talk about God explicitly and propose a path towards inner peace and happiness. The underlying values and ideas overlap with some concepts of positive psychology, and with the different religious traditions: kindness, generosity, and above all – love. However, unlike some of the fields of research that only flirt with religion, Dr. Karasu’s work forms a unique marriage between scientific method and the leap of faith into believing in the divine.

Here is a short video excerpt of our conversation. I am curious to know your thoughts: how do you feel about a science of spirituality?

Matt Green has a Masters degree in Civil Engineering. He graduated a few years ago and started working in New York City. Things were looking up: he was well-educated, making good money, enjoying the lifestyle of New York, and was well on his way to a safe and worry-free corporate career. But as a young man embarking on the journey of life, he could not help but ask himself: “is that it?” This cubicle for a few years, followed by a bigger cubicle, and eventually the corner office? He realized that the safety of his corporate job also meant a death warrant for his sense of adventure, discovery, and exploration. So two years ago he decided to “stop playing it safe”,  quit his job, and took time off to think. Free from attachment to any predetermined ideas about his future, he discovered that he loves to walk. He started leading walking groups around New York and found great joy in the walks: the discovery of new places, the great outdoors, and the physical exercise were a winning combination. So he decided to take it to the next level and take a 3000 mile walk from New York City to the West Coast. Just like that.

Matt and I met last week and spoke about our experiences crossing the country. It was fascinating to “compare notes” and talk about our experience. My trip took 5 weeks, his took 5 months. I rode 6000 miles, he walked 3000. That’s an average of 20 miles per day. I wish I was in shape like he is. Sitting back on the cruiser was much easier. Interestingly our main insights and realizations are very similar:

1) People are good. When you go out on long trip by yourself friends will tell you that you have to watch for crime, and be suspicious of the strangers you meet on the road. Matt walked for 5 months and was never the target of any attempted robbery or violence and never felt unsafe. In fact, at some point he stopped locking his stuff when he left it unattended. Who would still from boxes in a makeshift stroller/shopping-cart? Moreover, each night he would knock on the door of a random house and ask if he can set his tent on the lawn. Three of four families had no problem hosting his one-night camp, and some of them even offered to let him in to sleep in the house. For the most part people are generous, compassionate, and friendly.

2) Fears are exaggerated. When walking though rough neighborhoods, through pouring rain, or when meeting people who say some bothersome things, it is mostly your behavior that determines the end result. If you are not fearful and open up, you realize that the risks are not as prominent as you had initially thought, and – you also realize that you would miss out on some great experiences if you surrender to these fears.

One big difference between our journeys was the type of relationships we formed with folks we met on the road. Matt would sometimes spend a whole day with someone, so there was more time to talk and grow the seeds of a real relationship. I was passing through quickly, and conversations only went as far as one hour. Interestingly, the result seems to be that people actually confided in me and told me deeper, more personal things. The fact that there was no relationship made it easier for people to share things that they would not share with others.

If you have not checked it out yet, go to Matt’s blog at http://www.ImJustWalkin.com. His journey is a true inspiration and there are some amazing pictures there that words fail to describe.

The day before boarding the plane and heading back home I had the privilege of meeting with Dr. Deepak Chopra at the Chopra Center in Carlsbad, California. We talked about going on the road, about ego and the value of humility, about the fascinating concept of collective consciousness, the importance of the present, and about subjectivity and the possible convergence of science and spirituality.

I find it fascinating to see how recent research on empirically-tested psychology interventions and the 4000 year old Hindu wisdom traditions point to very similar conclusions about life, and about the path to obtaining lasting and deep inner peace. Here is a short video showing some of our conversation. Post a comment and let me know what you think about the ideas!

Last Thursday, a day before taking off and going back home, I went to UC Riverside to meet with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky. The somewhat festive feeling of the last Ride interview was a little disturbed by pouring rain all the way from Carlsbad to Riverside and back. So, I arrived to the psychology building pretty wet, but in a great mood…

Sonja’s research work on human well-being spans more than 20 years. Her approach combines both theory and practice, so in her world it’s not enough to say that something is good for you – you also have to empirically prove it. Her first book, The How Of Happiness, has been a great success. It details daily strategies that have been scientifically tested to work, that one can use to become happier. She is now working on her second book and runs some outstanding experiments on generosity and kindness and how they propagate and spread in communities from one to another.

Sonja and I collaborated on the Live Happy iPhone app and I know her previous research work well, so I was eager to learn more about what she is working on now, and ask her some questions about the thoughts and insights I had while on the road. We spoke about the value of challenges and risks, going outside one’s comfort zone, money and happiness, and the opportunities that life transitions (like midlife) hold. Here is a short summary of our conversation:

When I was in LA I was fortunate to have the opportunity to meet with Byron Katie, while she was giving the School For The Work to some 300 students. Katie’s story is an amazing one both from a personal perspective and in terms of the impact it had on so many lives over the course of the past 25 years. After being severely depressed for many years, Katie experienced an awakening during which she realized a very simple fact: the negative thoughts that have been haunting her for years my simply not be true. That simple truth led to a life transformation, an unprecedented recovery, and eventually to flourishing and thriving. Eager to share her experience with the world, Katie started to help others accomplish the same breakthroughs she has gone through, and put her system into a structure called The Work – described in her books, workshops, a coaching paradigm, and a self-directed online version.

Even though The Work is a result of her personal experience, it clearly includes some elements that can be found in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and in Hindu and Buddhist wisdom traditions. The beauty and the power of The Work is its simplicity, and the power of asking oneself direct, deep-penetrating questions.

Here is a video with a few minutes of our conversation.

On Wednesday I had the great honor of meeting with Dr. Phil Zimbardo. Phil is best known for the seminal Stanford Prison Experiment and is one of the most prominent people in shaping the face of modern psychology as we know it today. He spent decades studying evil behavior and the situations that encourage it. Most recently his focus of research is heroism, “the antidote to evil behavior”, its causes, and how the values and skill of being an everyday-hero can be taught.

As a situationist, Phil made an interesting observation about Ride Of Your Life. Encountering a variety of new situations is the key to learning new skills and building strength. Being on the road and going from town to town is an effective way to put oneself it new situations and build these resiliency skills in an expedited fashion.

Here is a short excerpt from our conversation about good and evil, and the value of challenges.

On Friday afternoon I met with Dr. Jamie Pennebaker at his office in the University Of Texas at Austin. Jamie is a pioneer in studying the psychological benefits of writing. Over the past three decades, his studies found that writing about feelings and thoughts has tremendous power, helping people improve their health and even accelerate the healing of injuries. His books describe these studies and their insights, and the software developed in his lab uses novel algorithms to analyze written text and induce information about personality and psychological state. You can try it out now:

- Try the software analysis here

- Use “AnalyzeWords.com” to get a psychological perspective of your Tweets (!)

- Participate in online research about writing

It seems like the main thread that goes throughout the psychology research on writing is the benefit of putting thoughts and feelings into structure using language. This structure brings insights, helps bring things to resolution and closure, and sometimes results in concrete conclusions about actions that need to be taken. Writing things down, you may realize that there are many things you can do that are within your control and take responsibility and action.

We spoke for about 45 minutes about open-ended writing, and concluded that the key to flourishing lies within each person, and psychological exercises like writing simply unlock those great capabilities that we all have. Here is a short bit of our conversation:

Arriving at Chapel Hill, NC was an interesting experience. Chapel Hill is a college town and a large percentage of its residents are either directly related to the University of North Carolina or indirectly provide services to the university and its visitors. Like many college towns there is something very peaceful, young, and positive about it. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson is the director of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology (PEP) lab at the university’s psychology department. We first met about a year ago and since then had the chance to chat a few times about possible joint projects. However, it was only today that I had the chance to speak with her more in-depth about her research work. Her book, Positivity, describes various research studies on positive emotions that were conducted in her lab over the past few years. The bottom-line findings are astounding and a must-know to anyone who seeks to improve their psychological well-being. And while the math involved is complicated (chaos theory, non linear dynamic systems), the end results are very simple: there is a tipping point – a ratio of 3 to 1 of positive to negative emotions. Once this threshold is met, people go into an “upward spiral” and truly flourish.

I was fortunate the have the opportunity to spend an hour discussing the concepts of Positivity and how they relate to other ideas like strength, resiliency, and being fuly present.

Here is a short video with a few minutes from our conversation:

Day three of Ride Of Your Life started with great pride and high spirits. I strapped the luggage on the back carefully and mindfully, and went out in great weather to the home of best-selling author Caroline Miller. Little did I know that I will end up spending close to a 100 miles crawling in first gear in the DC area traffic back and forth feeling the engine boiling underneath. If I am to restrict my thoughts from today to a single, most important piece of advice it would be this:  always check exactly where the hotel is before you make a reservation…

But – let’s focus on the positive! The meeting with Caroline:
Caroline and I met last year at the First World Congress on Positive Psychology in Philadelphia and since then have been trying to find ways to work together. Caroline’s background is interesting because it involves both many years of coaching practice and a solid knowledge of research studies through a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology.

This unique mix of real-life examples and various supporting research makes her book Creating Your Best Life a fascinating read. In the past few years her focus has been on interventions related to perosnal goals and to life lists. We spoke for a good 45 minutes. Here are some pieces of our conversation: